Philip Rivers is back and football rightfully feels like a biblical fever dream

Philip Rivers is back. The former gunslinger turned 44-year-old grandfather with a million kids, who has not played in the NFL since the 2020 COVID season, is signing to the QB-needy Indianapolis Colts practice squad.

Multiple reporters confirmed Monday night that Rivers was invited to work out at the Colts’ facility, and on Tuesday the impossible became real.

Indianapolis is signing the eight-time Pro Bowler and bringing him out of retirement, with the plan being for Rivers to join the practice squad while they try to survive life without Daniel Jones, who’s out for the season with a torn Achilles.

Philip Rivers spitting hot fire on Twitter:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

— Philip Rivers (@Rivers_17_HOF) December 9, 2025

Philip Rivers is basically the living embodiment of Shia Labeouf in the movie Fury

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

That is Philip Rivers to a tee. The Colts needed a quarterback. A god fearing leader to save the season. That might be a bit too dramatic but you get the point. Philip Rivers is a warm body with working elbows and has more children than most men have friends.

When called upon, he stood up and said he’ll go back into the fire one more time.

Is this insane? Absolutely. Do I love it? Completely.

The Colts season looked cooked the second Daniel Jones’ Achilles gave out, and the Riley Leonard injury only poured gasoline on the mess.

So if you want the fans to care, if you want the rest of the country to look up from their phones and wonder what the hell is happening in Indianapolis, this is exactly how you do it. Philip Rivers showing up like he’s answering an altar call makes the Colts must-watch TV down the stretch.

Philip Rivers might be their best option. He already knows the building. He already knows the system. His arm has been sitting on the couch marinating for half a decade. There is a real chance this is either a disaster or one of the funniest and most unexpectedly electric storylines of the year.

Either way, Philip Rivers didn’t hesitate. He heard the horn of distress coming out of Indianapolis and sprinted toward it like a man called on a divine mission.

Here am I. Send me.

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