Kevin Patullo headlines as Bucks County golf simulator’s newest target after brutal season

Eagles fans across the Delaware Valley want OC Kevin Patullo gone, that’s no secret. While some resorted to egging his home earlier in the season, the fan base’s bloodlust has only increased after an abysmal loss to the 49ers in the playoffs.

The Golf Place in Langhorne, PA found a way to give Birds fans the cathartic stress relief they need in this time of crisis: smash golf balls into KP’s face with impunity.

Instead of enacting physical violence, which we can all agree is wrong, why not tee up your driver and let it rip into Kevin Patullo’s mug for a nominal fee?:

If you wanna take shots at Kevin Patullo visit The Golf Place in Bucks County, Pa 🤝#FlyEaglesFly pic.twitter.com/GXnlgQY6lX

— Cooper DeJAWN 🦅 (@CooperDeJawn3) January 12, 2026

The beauty is in the simplicity with this concept. I don’t know what the metrics for this business look like, but I can safely assume an uptick in business this week, even from non-golfers.

Now, I’m usually not one for golf simulators. Sure, it gives us sickos a brief respite from the frozen fairways and greens during the winter season, but, simply put, I can’t help but feel the computer isn’t always accurate.

Do I have tour-level distance off the tee? Absolutely not. But when I pure a driver and it tells me the ball carried 200 yards, but a mishit three wood goes 250? I can’t deal with those inconsistencies.

That being said, if I’m in the golf equivalent of a rage room with Kevin Patullo’s dumbass face on the screen, the metrics mean a lot less. I may end up a bit curious about the ball speed on the stinger I hit right between his eyes, but that’s secondary to the therapeutic nature of the activity.

Once the angry mob calms down, I think The Golf Place should keep this running as a promotion with other famous faces. Or, let patrons send in their own photos for a slight upcharge.

I’m sure some people would love to hit golf balls into the face of an ex, boss, or someone else in their personal life. Personally, my list would consist of world leaders, members of Congress/PA’s state legislature, and that dumbass who almost struck me with his car on my commute this morning.

At any rate, fuck Kevin Patullo. I’m shocked he hasn’t been fired yet. I may need a trip to The Golf Place in the meantime to calm down.

Gear up in the TLL Shop