Dystopia: Jason Kelce stars in marketing campaign urging drinkers to send their pee to AI data centers

Before I get into this, I know the Jason Kelce ad for Garage Beer and Liquid Death urging drinkers to send their piss to AI data centers is satirical. I read the fine print at the end of it, alright? That doesn’t mean another piece of my humanity didn’t die watching it.

In case you missed it, here it is:

Jason Kelce wants your piss

Jason Kelce asks fans to send their pee to AI data centers in new video. pic.twitter.com/X6bs6vCAsA

— Headquarters (@HQNewsNow) August 18, 2026

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I will give credit where it’s due, Liquid Death has always been great at marketing. They sell overpriced water and still manage to have a $1.4 billion valuation. As dystopian as this ad feels, it’s still funny, it features Jason Kelce, it obviously works — I’m here writing about it, aren’t I?

Nevertheless, the overwhelming weight of humanity’s impending doom still washes over me as I watch this.

The year is 2026, AI data centers are popping up all over the country to power the next step in the American workforce evolution. You spend the majority of your day talking to a robot while spending tokens to use it — a form of AI currency no one really understands. In your down time you doom scroll social media because you get no natural dopamine from your day-to-day life, only to see an ad from a water company starring Jason Kelce as he sings a song about mailing your piss to these AI data centers to help cool them down and fix their need for freshwater.

Doesn’t that sound great?

Don’t answer that. Better yet, go ask Claude or ChatGPT so you don’t actually have to think. Go on, outsource your thoughts. You’re a human, you don’t have time to critically think anymore. Time is money! Someone has to make sure shareholder value increases in Q4, champ. So make sure you include that in your prompt as well. Because nothing is worse than spending an extra five minutes to think.

So, yeah. That’s where my mind goes when I watched that ad. A bit over the top? Maybe. I should probably just ask ChatGPT to tone it down when I have my robot edit it for me.