Game One of the Sixers’ first-round matchup with the Washington Wizards was nothing short of a clown show, pretty much from start to finish. The referees made soft calls all game long. When they weren’t wildly soft, they were either entirely incorrect or missed. The worst part of the entire game, however, was Bradley Beal’s incessant “trolling.” The only thing worse was the subsequent coverage it received on social media.

This absolute jackassery from the Wizards’ All-Star looked especially stupid, as his team lost to our mighty 76ers. So, Bradley, I’m sorry but, imma have to roast you. Before I do, understand this. I was previously a Bradley Beal fan. He’s rather good at basketball and had a solid game against us. Regardless, the guy made a fool of himself on national and, more importantly, local television. Let’s break down this absolutely ludicrous display.

Exhibit A: Bradley Beal Coming after Joel for travelling

In a vacuum, this opening attempted troll-job is pretty benign. If anything, it’s a little funny. In the greater context of the game, however, Beal looks pretty stupid here. The Wizards got away with an estimated (by me) 1,000 travels throughout the game, so Bradley taking umbrage with Joel’s extra step was dumb, especially when the refs called it in the first place.

The People: 1
Bradley Beal: 0

Exhibit B: Bradley Beal refused to let up on Joel

He again went after Embiid, this time trying to clown The Process for over-exaggerating contact on drives to the basket. This was ridiculous for several reasons. First of all, Bradley Beal went completely untouched on his drive to the hoop directly before this clip. Second of all, Joel Embiid is fouled pretty much every time he touches the ball in the paint; he’s just too big and strong for refs to call it every time, even though they should. Combine that with the fact that the whole league does the same damn thing, and it’s hard for me to see Bradley Beal as anything other than a crybaby cringe merchant.

The People: 2
Bradley Beal: 0

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE EVIDENCE

Ah, yes. I do love it when professional athletes seem to forget there’s a camera on them. In the same game where the defendant trolled our beloved Joel Embiid for embellishing contact, Bradley did some embellishment of his own. Beal took a legitimate charge on Joel Embiid and totally oversold it, acting like the charge itself had killed him. I could not find any footage online, so here is an approximation:

One more for The People. Now up 3-0.

Exhibit C: Coming for Ben Simmons‘ 3pt attempt

I do not have much to say about this attempted troll. Maybe Bradley Beal should have focused on his own three-point shots, as he went 1/6 from three for a whopping 16.7%. His buddy Russ went 0/2 as well, one of which could have been a game-tying three late in the game. Well, Bradley, it looks like you played yourself, bucko.

The People: 4
Bradley Beal: 0

Exhibit D: “This is my house”

This final piece of evidence is pretty self-explanatory. Throughout the game, Bradley Beal was shouting “this is my house” at the fans. That was definitely the most psycho move out of all of his on-court transgressions Sunday. It made me think, “when was the last time he won a game here in Philly?” Of course, I was far too lazy to look it up. However, Drew was kind enough to provide that stat for your viewing pleasure.

It has been exactly 1,893 days since the Wizards last won in Philly. That win took place on March 17, 2016. The Wizards are 0-9 at the Wells Fargo Center since then.

I have to say, it was a bold move for a visiting player to yell that at The Wells Fargo Center and then go on to lose. Bradley Beal had some strange behavior Sunday, but that took the cake as the weirdest because it was based on literally zero evidence. So, where does that leave the final tally?

The People: 5
Bradley Beal: 0

In what we thought would be a battle of Russell Westbrook vs Joel Embiid. It turns out the real matchup was Beal vs Philadelphia, a battle in which Beal got absolutely destroyed.

Sixers in 4. Carry on, Philadelphia. Pay these peasants no mind.

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Mandatory Credit: 2% me but still