McDonald’s has given a whole new meaning to the term “Freedom Fries.” The multinational fast food joint officially ceased all operations in Russia yesterday. Of course, this comes as a response to Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, which has led to heavy civilian casualties. The report came from the one and only Twitter source for updates on the attack, The Spectator Index:

And, yeah, I guess McDonald’s announced it too, but I only trust The Spectator Index:

While some may not see the significance of the chain shuttering their locations across Russia, it’s a brilliant psychological tactic to use on everyday citizens. Mickey D’s is a shining symbol of the West.

When the first location in Russia opened in 1990, there was a massive celebration. Russians were proud their country had finally opened its doors to the West, and a traditionally hungry nation was given a taste of American “luxury.”

With McDonald’s no longer available, those same citizens will see the closed stores as a symbol of their country’s renewed isolation from the international community. Indeed, as the war rages on, that will do more to the psyche of the everyday Russian than Western media could ever do. No matter what state-sponsored propaganda says, when those Golden Arches go dark, the people will know the rest of the world is shunning them.

Plus, a lack of delicious, crispy french fries will dramatically decrease their quality of life. Hell, if all locations closed around the Philly area, I’d probably go into withdrawal.

And don’t worry, all employees will continue to receive payment, and Ronald McDonald House will continue operating. The only difference? McJets will maintain control of Russian airspace, looking for any of those dumb enough to breach it.

It’s not just one company involved, either. After the announcement, Starbucks and Coca-Cola also stopped sales in Russia. These massive corporations have agreed to share resources to maintain the No-Fry Zone’s integrity, including lethal aid and logistical support.

“Any unauthorized fries in Russian airspace will be met with the full might of the McDonald’s Rapid Air Response Team (RART) and our allies,” said a very real spokesman for the fast food chain.

He wasn’t kidding either. Here we can see brave, McDonald’s pilots patrolling the skies over Red Square.

Good luck, Godspeed, and come home safe.

Grab some merch!

Subscribe to our YouTube for live shows and highlights!

Listen to The Wolves of Broad Street