Woman says she’s Jerry Jones’ daughter in huge lawsuit

A woman has filed a lawsuit against Cowboys owner and ‘Night of the Living Dead’ extra Jerry Jones. The current congressional aid claims that he is not only her father but that there’s an agreement in place with a clause that seems pretty slimy, even for Jerry Boy.
Interestingly enough, the woman is now 25, and it has been 26 years since the cowboys last won a Super Bowl. Food for thought as you read on.
The Dallas News released a report today detailing the allegations against Jones:
Here are the basics of the case, per Nataly Keomoungkhoun:
“Attorneys for Alexandra Davis filed the lawsuit Thursday in Dallas County, saying that Jones and her mother had a relationship in the mid-1990s from which she was conceived. According to court documents, Jones and Davis’ mother, Cynthia Davis, reached a settlement to financially support the mother and child as long as they didn’t publicly identify Jones as her father.”
Uh oh, Jer-Bear, it seems you’ve got some ‘splaining to do.
The hidden paternity clause in that contract really could not be any more Jerry Jones. He gets a woman pregnant and then goes, “Yeah, take as much money as you want. Just keep your mouth shut and the grubby kid away from me.”
Well, unfortunately for him, that grubby kid grew up to become a government employee. As a congressional aid, odds are she knows more about the law than he does. Plus, the Jones family lawyer is probably a horse in a cowboy hat with a lit cigar in its mouth.
It’s a bit messed up because while the agreement her mother signed promised her benefits until 21 years old, it prohibited her from ever establishing legal paternity. Like, Jesus Christ, that’s cold.
The whole thing screams old Texas oil money. With so much infidelity, cover-ups, and corruption in those families, it must be like ‘Euphoria’ but with far crustier dudes.
I will say he’s lucky this news broke when it did. Ben Simmons is returning to Philadelphia tonight, and the Colts traded Carson Wentz to a division rival, so the city is clearly occupied with other matters.
Fortunately for me, we have a crack team of writers at TLL, allowing me to take a shot at Jerry.
Mr. Jones, if you’re reading this and want to recoup some funds from this, let’s take your story to Maury Povich. I’ll help set the whole thing up for a small finder’s fee.
Until then, chin up bud.
