Sleeper agent chicken protestors stop 2 NBA Playoff games
As expected, the NBA Playoffs are off to an eventful start. However, one of the least-anticipated storylines has nothing to do with the players on the floor. Instead, incredibly passionate protestors have disrupted two NBA contests. Their noble cause? Chicken.
Saturday, a protestor chained herself to the hoop during Memphis vs. Minnesota:
Of course, that wasn’t the only protestor-related incident in these Playoffs. Another individual superglued herself to the floor (unsuccessfully) when the Timberwolves took on the Clippers during the Play-In Tournament. Here’s the clip of that one as well.
Clearly, these two protestors were a part of the same group and explicitly targeted Timberwolves games. After some sleuthing by the internet community – which mostly involved zooming in on photos – the chicken component of this whole series of events came into focus.
Both protestors wore shirts that read, “Glen Taylor roasts animals alive.” Taylor is the current majority owner of the Timberwolves and, by all accounts, a grade-A asshole.
To get an idea of the kind of guy Taylor is, he screwed over the team’s only franchise legend in Kevin Garnett, who still refuses to have his number retired despite playing there for 14 seasons. So, yeah, this guy definitely blows.
I would’ve understood if they were just protesting Taylor for being a douchebag, but apparently, he owns a chicken farm. And he unsurprisingly treats those chickens like complete shit.
I’m all for animal rights. I don’t think chickens should be roasted alive. But protesting at an NBA playoff game? To stick it to an 80-year-old guy selling the team to A-Rod in 2023? Nah, this doesn’t add up.
That was until the group released a statement calling for the immediate sale of the Timberwolves to new ownership. Then it all became painfully apparent.
A-Rod and Kevin Garnett are using sleeper agents to tarnish Taylor’s reputation (further) and expedite the team’s sale.
Wow. I never thought I’d say this, but I love the move from A-Rod. I’m not sure how he got his hands on CIA mind-control equipment, but I’m too impressed to care.
Timberwolves fans should be ecstatic. I wish Josh Harris and Michael Rubin would use false-flag tactics like that to eliminate underperforming staff. We could’ve accused Ben Simmons of using chemical weapons on civilians overseas and probably got his contract voided.
I guarantee T-Wolves incoming ownership will institute a PsyOps department into their front office. When that happens, it’s over for the league.