Nick Castellanos must burn his house down immediately
The curse of Ben Simmons lives on.
Phillies OF Nick Castellanos purchased Ben Simmons’ house in Moorestown, NJ right around the start of the 2022 regular season. Castellanos moving into Simmons’ house was just horrible vibes from the start, and it’s only gotten worse.
I’m not sure how those numbers actually add up, but for the sake of this article, let’s just say Castellanos purchased the house and didn’t move in until a later date. Castellanos moved into this house, and his shaky hitting due to the fact was as predictable as it can get. Bottom line, there’s only one way that Castellanos can get back to himself at the plate.
Nick Castellanos must burn his house to the ground.
I know what you’re thinking, that’s a little over-the-top. No, you’re wrong. Ben Simmons ruined my life, he ruined your life, and he ruined the lives of 76ers fans across the world. I’m not saying that’s where Nick Castellanos is trending, because he’s not. Nick will be completely fine, and he’s going to find his bat again. But we’ve tried almost everything at this point, including sage that Nick’s mom Michelle bought to cleanse the house with.
Is it possible the Ben Simmons curse has spread to Castellanos’ son as well? We touched on how great of a fan Liam had become in the stands at Citizens Bank Park, giving foul balls to other young Phillies fans, but we may have misread the situation in our most recent post. Liam was attempting to blind opposing pitchers using the power of the sun last week at Citizens Bank Park.
Is he now possessed like a demon child from The Omen? Has anyone checked up on his video game skills? That would be a good indication to see if Liam has been compromised as well. We definitely don’t need a neon “Liamo The Savage” sign popping up inside the house again.
The house must be burnt to the ground. I wouldn’t even suggest rebuilding on the same plot of land. There’s a chance the entire property is cursed and the Phillies are in no position to wait and find out given the recent struggles we have witnessed from Castellanos at the plate.
Besides, Castellanos is making $100 million over the next 5 years. Pack your bags (again), get out of that damn house, and go buy a new one. He could afford any house on the whole east coast.
The Phillies currently sit 8.5 games back in the NL East, and three games back of the last Wild Card spot. They’re 15-5 in the month of June but currently hold a three-game losing streak, following yesterday’s ugly loss to the Rangers. Castellanos is down to just .245/.303/.389 on the season, with a -0.4 WAR.
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