Nearly 500 pounds of pasta were dumped in the woods near Old Bridge, New Jersey, culprit still at large
Hundreds of pounds of cooked pasta mysteriously appeared along a bed creek in Old Bridge, New Jersey last week, leaving residents searching for answers. This is potentially one of the most New Jersey stories of all time with a potentially supernatural angle so let’s get right into it.
Authorities estimate 300-400 pounds of spaghetti and other types of pastas were dumped alongside a creek near Veterans Park in Old Bridge last week and while it has since been cleared by the township, the culprit has not yet been apprehended.
Mama mia, that’s A LOT of pasta. How could someone just ditch that much food in the woods? Makes zero sense on paper.Â
If I didn’t know any better, I’d assume this was an anti-Italian hate crime orchestrated by a wicked cabal of exclusionists. Fortunately for you, I know exactly what happened here, and all other theories out there are total crap.
As far as I’m concerned, we have a classic Strega Nona situation on our hands. Someone’s Calabrian grandmother/witch taught them a spell to make enough pasta for Sunday dinner despite not having a sufficient amount in the cupboard. Sadly, that individual failed to stop the spell once they had enough.
All they had to do was blow three kisses to the pot and the pasta would stop multiplying. Judging by the amount of pasta, in the woods, I can assume their Strega Nona wasn’t able to end the spell until the entire house was full of spaghetti.
To hide their embarrassment, the family dumped the pasta in the woods. Of course, 500lbs of macaroni is pretty difficult to miss, which brings us to where we are now.
Don’t believe me? Ask any old woman from Sicily or Southern Italy what spells they know, and the odds are they know at least one.
I get that accidents happen, but the fact that they made this everyone else’s problem is disappointing. Imagine working for the township and getting a call to go clean up 500 pounds of pasta. I doubt they were be happy about that.
No word if they got the human food vacuum cleaner Chris Christie on the horn. I know the big fella would have had that mess cleaned up in a matter of minutes.
