Dreams Do Come True: The Pop-Tarts Bowl was a masterclass in sports entertainment

If you missed the Pop-Tarts Bowl on Thursday night, you missed the sporting event of the year. K-State beat NC State 28-19, but the real story had nothing to do with the football game itself. Instead, Pop-Tarts decided to put together the greatest post game show college football has ever seen.

The Pop-Tarts Bowl was a masterclass of branded entertainment and featured an edible mascot, which was undoubtedly a religious experience for all involved:

Here we are… the edible mascot in the Pop-Tarts Bowl.. pic.twitter.com/0XgKGoXseS

— PJ Green (@PJGreenTV) December 29, 2023

The body of Christ. Amen.

As a known Pop-Tarts acolyte, this was a significantly spiritual event for me. It was great to see the beloved toaster pastry take center stage on a national scale and perfectly execute such a beautiful ceremony.

I genuinely haven’t felt this way since Pope Francis was selected to lead the Catholic Church. If you didn’t feel emotional watching that mascot fulfill its lifelong dream of being put in a toaster and consumed by the winning team, then you might genuinely be a sociopath.

Of course, there will be those doubters claiming this is a form of Pop-Tart cruelty that must be stopped. If the sign saying “Dreams Really Do Come True” wasn’t enough evidence, a reporter on the sidelines not only received verbal confirmation, but was force-fed a Pop-Tart by the mascot itself.

I asked if it was offensive to eat a Pop-Tart in front of the @PopTartsBowl mascot and then its handler yelled out “ITS THEIR DREAM” and then the mascot grabbed a Pop-Tart out of my hand and started force-feeding it to me while making soft grunting noises pic.twitter.com/PaCDY6mzu3

— Rodger Sherman (@rodger) December 29, 2023

Take that, Liberals. The Pop-Tarts Bowl is here to stay.

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