Eagles fan flamethrower

Eagles fan wielding a flamethrower at 6am is ready for the Commanders

The Eagles are set to host the Commanders tonight on Thursday Night Football, and the home fans are ready for the divisional matchup. Fans have been in the lots at Lincoln Financial field since 6am barbecuing and, apparently, wielding weapons of war outlawed in Protocol III of the Geneva Convention.

This one Eagles fan came prepared with a flamethrower to get his grill started, but could easily use it to defend his position from any unruly Commanders fans (if those even exist):

This guy right here is a true blue American hero. Up before dawn, green beard, and a flamethrower. What’s not to love?

I think it’s safe to say Jayden Daniels is not ready for this home crowd. These people are clinically insane. I know Death Valley can get crazy, I’ve seen it first hand. But playing a divisional game in primetime at the Linc is like playing football in Arkham Asylum.

After doing some research into the legality of the flamethrower, our guy here is good to go. The Geneva Convention only covers militaries using it to destroy civilian targets. So as long as he isn’t a deep cover operator for American special forces and burns down a Commanders tailgate. The American military also outlawed flamethrowers in the 70s, so that adds another wrinkle into the mix.

That being said, flamethrowers are still in use in modern warfare, specifically in present-day Ukraine. So, it could be legal for him to burn down a Commanders tailgate if they declare themselves as willful belligerents. It’d basically be two paramilitary groups squaring off, so it’d be a legal grey area in the rules of engagement.

Either way, the Eagles are winning this game. 27-10. Book it.

Gear up in the TLL Shop

Very real and legitimate journalist. I don't see a loss on the schedule.

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