Curt Cignetti’s signature “I Win” bowl is genuinely awful

Indiana head coach and newly minted national champion Curt Cignetti is so hot right now. So much so, in fact, Chipotle came calling to give him his own signature order, simply called the “I Win” bowl. Sadly for coach, the bowl sounds absolutely disgusting.

Curt Cignetti really said let’s do chicken, brown rice, black beans, and a side of Guac… That’s barely edible as far as I’m concerned:

Chipotle has added Coach Cignetti's "I Win" bowl to its menu.

It features chicken, brown rice, black beans, and a side of guacamole, which Cignetti orders from Chipotle every day for lunch. pic.twitter.com/b0xGXgMlBQ

— Front Office Sports (@FOS) January 22, 2026

Did I expect Coach Cignetti to have a wild and inventive Chipotle order? No, not at all. But this is a contender for one of the worst bowls of all time. This is a “You Lose” bowl, bringing Cignetti to 16-1 on the season. The sole blemish on an otherwise perfect record.

I love Cig; he’s become a college football icon for what he’s done at Indiana. He’s a no-nonsense guy, but this Chipotle order is so lacking in nonsense that it actually flips into being nothing but nonsense.

This bland bowl does not bode well for Cignetti. We saw Saquon Barkley win a Super Bowl and then partner with Wawa to bring one of the worst signature sandwiches the world has ever seen to life.

And what happened? He fell off a cliff, and the Eagles got bounced in the Wild Card by a team that lost by 30+ in the Divisional. You can’t tell me that sandwich didn’t at least have something to do with it.

I’m not saying Curt Cignetti and Indiana are going to meet that same fate, but it’s entirely possible. All I’m saying is, it’s something to monitor.

I’m sure you’re asking, “What’s your order then, hotshot?” I unfortunately can’t tell you because I don’t eat slop designed to pacify the unwashed masses’ insatiable hunger.

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