Weekend Rips: Super Bowl Sunday, Sixers duck the tax, Eagles falling apart, put the Flyers in a ditch

The Super Bowl is here, folks, and I’ll be honest, I don’t care in the slightest. Maybe it’s because I’m still bitter about the way things ended with the Eagles and the Sixers at the deadline, but I just don’t have any juice in the tank for it.

Am I still going to have some guys over to eat wings and slam beers? Of course. I’m not an animal. But I’ll be doing it with far less gusto than if the Birds were in the mix.

Philly sports are filled with a general malaise at this moment. The Sixers ducked the tax instead of making a big move at the deadline, the Flyers’ only bright spot is a cannoli-sending vigilante named Tony Escargot, and the Eagles are quite literally falling apart at the seams. All that’s left for us is to sit back and watch those more fortunate than us compete for a championship.

Find the joy in the pain, my friends. It’s going to be absolutely frigid this weekend. So you might as well lock yourself in your dwelling, have a few too many beverages, and wait for the world to thaw. Let this newsletter be the kick-off to your weekend. It’s time to let it rip.

Super Bowl LX – Seahawks vs. Patriots – Sunday @ 6:30

This championship bout features two teams that I don’t really find to be all that compelling. Yes, Drake “Drake Maye” Maye is a dog, and my sweet Milton Williams is kicking ass in New England. Plus, the Sam Darnold storyline is truly one of the best in sports. But both these teams have me feeling “meh.”

The Pats had a cake walk to the bowl, facing Jarrett Stidham in the AFC Championship alone was a blessing. The Seahawks had to beat both of their division rivals to get here, and have earned the -4.5 line bestowed upon them.

Will it be a good game? Probably. Do I care who wins? Not at all. All I care about is having enough food to feed a Roman legion and enough Miller Lites to sedate a stable of horses. The rest is in the hands of the Football Gods.

Sixers take on the Suns on the road – Saturday @ 9 pm

Joel Embiid begged the Sixers to go into the luxury tax and be competitive after winning five straight games. Instead, Jeffrey Epstein associate Josh Harris had his team trade Jared McCain to dodge the tax in a disappointing deadline move. The team responded in kind, blowing a huge lead to the Lakers.

BREAKING: The Philadelphia 76ers are trading guard Jared McCain to the Oklahoma City Thunder for a 2026 Rockets first-round pick and three second-round picks, sources tell ESPN. pic.twitter.com/0wGXxzPURG

— Shams Charania (@ShamsCharania) February 4, 2026

Needless to say, this is a gut punch for Sixers fans. Joel Embiid is playing unbelievably well, Tyrese Maxey is an All-NBA guy, and VJ Edgecombe is an immediate difference-maker as a rookie. Throw in Dominick Barlow making an outsized impact for a two-way guy, and you’ve got an intriguing squad.

This roster may not be good enough to win the East in most seasons, but in an extremely depleted conference, this could have been their chance. Instead, Josh Harris continued to treat the Sixers like an asset in his portfolio. Fuck this guy.

The Eagles are losing key pieces heading into the offseason

Jeff Stoutland, beloved o-line coach, is officially done coaching this team. Landon Dickerson is considering retirement. Vic Fangio is staying another year, but it was a close call. In short: The End is Nigh.

The more I learn about the inner workings of this team, the less I like Nick Sirianni. How do you alienate your best people like this as a culture-first CEO head coach? Not everything is finalized, but it’s bad news.

We had two guys retire mid-season shortly after joining the team. Clearly, something is going on behind the scenes.

Flyers suck ass, Tony Escargot is our savior

The Flyers continue to be terrible. Rick Tocchet continues to blatantly lie to the media. Our only hope? Tony Escargot.

He led the charge for “Fire Tocchet” chants against the Capitals – a game the team ironically won – and then was wiped off Twitter by the Comcast Cabal. Even still, he’s sending Flyers media cannoli despite being made a martyr. Even our own Chris Stumpo and Derek Dunn got the care package. How he got their address is up for debate. I just know he got them because he’s Tony Escargot.

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