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FIFA World Cup Attempts to Ban Tailgating in American Cities

FIFA attempted to ban tailgating in America for the World Cup and got humiliated into reversing course in record time

Earlier this month, news broke that FIFA wanted to ban tailgating at World Cup matches. The specific language in their match-day checklist said that traditional tailgating, defined as eating and drinking around parked cars, is not permitted. Fans were encouraged instead to enjoy activities within secure areas or visit nearby businesses.

I laughed. Out loud. For a long time.

FIFA wanted to ban tailgating before World Cup matches (lol)

FIFA wants to ban tailgating at World Cup games, clearly forgets that Philly and America do not take orders from European tyrants >>

FIFA, an international sports organization that has been indicted by the United States Department of Justice, that laundered tens of millions of dollars in bribes, that awarded a World Cup to Qatar in exchange for cash payments, was literally attempting to say American fans they cannot drink beers and grill hot dogs next to their car before a soccer match.

The audacity is genuinely impressive.

These people have been running one of the most corrupt organizations on the planet for decades and they thought the move was to police parking lots in Philadelphia.

Philadelphia has six World Cup matches scheduled this summer including a round of 16 game on July 4th. The 250th anniversary of American independence.

While FIFA was busy writing their little rulebook about how Americans should behave, the city of Philadelphia passed a bipartisan bill to keep bars open until 4 AM during the World Cup.

Republicans and Democrats in this city agreed on exactly one thing and that thing was making sure you can drink until 4 in the morning for a soccer tournament. The city is legislating more alcohol consumption and FIFA thought they’re going to ban tailgating.

This was never a fair fight. This was never even a fight. This was FIFA walking into a situation they have absolutely no ability to control and getting completely embarrassed.

THE KNEE HAS BEEN BENT

So now FIFA has officially reversed course. They announced that tailgating will be allowed before World Cup games at major U.S. venues after heavy online criticism. Cool. Thanks assholes. Not that anyone was going to listen to them anyway.

The reversal happened because they realized in real time that no American was going to comply with their parking lot prohibition and the PR disaster of trying to enforce it would have been ten times worse than just letting people grill in peace.

FIFA reverses stance on tailgating

FIFA does not fundamentally understand the United States of America.

We do not care about soccer the way the rest of the world does. We are hosting the World Cup this summer because we have the stadiums, the infrastructure, and the money. Not because we’ve been sitting around waiting for FIFA to bless us with their presence. It’s America250.

Here in Philadelphia, we founded this country and have been fighting against European rule since the beginning of this great nation. We are throwing the biggest birthday party in the history of the country. We have the MLB All-Star Game happening in South Philly. We consistently throw the best parties on earth because that’s what we do.

Most Americans could not tell you who runs FIFA, what FIFA stands for, or what FIFA has done in the last decade. The ones who do know think those people should be in prison, which to be fair, several of them have been.

America Does Not Take Orders From Europe

FIFA operates on the assumption that the world will bend to their rules because the world needs soccer. America does not need soccer. America is doing America this summer and FIFA is a guest here. Not the other way around.

George Washington’s troops ate rats at Valley Forge so that Americans could one day eat overcooked brats in a parking lot before a sporting event.

I didn’t say mice. I said RATS.

This country bled and died for the right to tailgate and FIFA thought they were going to end it with a bullet point in a PDF. Print that rulebook out and we’ll tie it to fireworks and launch it right into the skies over the Delaware River.

We do not take orders from Europe. We never have. We are not about to start for the World Cup this summer.

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