Kyle Pitts lied to the American people about the proper cheesesteak order

Top NFL Draft prospect and alleged Philly guy Kyle Pitts sat down with CBS Sports HQ host Amanda Guerra to discuss a number of topics. Granted, I did not listen to this interview, nor will I, but one snippet of the conversation has been making the rounds on Twitter. I have it here for your reading (dis)pleasure:
WHAT? I don’t even know where to start with this guy. First of all, I’ve been a wiz wit guy my whole life, and I’m pretty sure I’m not a tourist. My birth certificate from Pennsylvania Hospital and my current water bill would certainly support that claim. My father is a wiz wit disciple as well. Oh, right. Port Richmond is a massive tourist trap, though, so what would he know? Being ant-wiz is appalling, especially coming from a someone that isn’t even a true Philly Guy.

Honestly, get whatever cheese you want. I think American cheese is a little gross on a cheesesteak and will discourage out of towners from ordering it, but whatever. It’s food, I’m not going to police what you eat. I once had a guy from Minnesota try to explain to me what makes a good cheesesteak. Imagine my shock and anger. If it wasn’t over Call of Duty game chat I would have thrown him into the nearest body of water. Any Philadelphian would have.
Now, I cannot entirely blame Amanda for her role in this fraud. However, that does not excuse her role in this. The national media has a responsibility to portray different localities accurately. In this case, Amanda Guerra and CBS Sports HQ have failed both Philadelphia and the American people tremendously.
***UPDATE***
After seeing a bunch of comments on this article across the darkest corners of the internet saying “I’m wrong and Kyle Pitts is right”, let me very clear: I will not entertain your anti-wiz agendas and certainly wont accept “wiz is for tourists” from a bunch of dweebs that probably live in Harrisburg. You’re wrong. I’m right. That’s just the way things are. It may come to a shock that people are being told they are wrong in 2021, but unfortunately that’s just the reality of the situation.
Listen to The Wolves of Broad Street
Mandatory Credit: Meme Daddy
[…] people, call your writing stupid, you know you’ve made a grave mistake. I’ve compared Kyle Pitts to Richard Nixon, invoked multiple articles of the UN Charter, and accused a sandwich shop owner of war crimes on […]