It’s Sixers in 7 but no thanks to this guy

During one of the darkest 24 hours I’ve experienced on Twitter, a picture popped up on my timeline. It was a picture of a kid, wearing Sixers gear, with a sign that read “Sixers in 7” standing in front of City Hall. What made the picture even better, was the fact that three attractive girls stood in the background, staring at him in awe. Here’s the picture for reference:
The picture painted this kid as a beam of light, smack dab in center city, inspiring hope to a miserable fan base that apparently thought the Sixers-Hawks series was over after five games. For what I am now calling, “The Last Of Us” the picture was fantastic at first sight. I even went as far as saying this kid was an icon, and that I would give him a million shirts and campaign for him to ring the bell when the Sixers inevitably beat the Hawks tonight to force a game seven in South Philadelphia.
Turns out, I was lied to and this picture is nothing more than a corporate misinformation act pushed by none other than Chris Heck, the CEO of the Philadelphia 76ers. In the kid’s original tweets, he has Chris Heck, President of the 76ers and a woman by the name of Kathryn Alario tagged in each photo. Who is Kathryn Alario? Turns out, she’s the VP of Marketing for the Philadelphia 76ers.
To make matters even more interesting, the kid in the photo works for Barstool Sports and runs their city social media accounts. The kid I am referring to is someone by the name of Derek Shuman. A quick google search landed me on a website that looks like a digital front for the KGB. Poorly placed Penn State logos, an unsecure website, dictated only with numbers. He’s allegedly an Aerospace Engineer from Pottsville, PA.

My opinions began to change on the picture. Then, out of no where, more pictures were posted. This time, in front of the Rocky statue which I consider to be the worst thing in the entire city of Philadelphia. Derek (if that’s his real name) is standing in front of the biggest tourist trap in the city, with the sign “Sixers in 7” yet again. Chris Heck and Kathryn Alario, were tagged in the photos, yet again.
If you’ve been reading my recent posts, you know that I have no problem calling out frauds. This situation specifically, it appears we are getting played by big business. Derek is nothing more than a plant. Not to mention, if Derek runs the Barstool Philly account, then everyone should ask him why he releases such terrible shirts and deletes and reposts tweets and instagram posts when followers tag or comment their account letting them know that DSGN Tree, a real, Philadelphia apparel company, has better designs than them.
I should be clear, the message that KGB Honeypot Derek is sending in “Sixers in 7” is something that I strongly agree with. I don’t think the Sixers will lose tonight and I sure as shit don’t think the Sixers will lose at home in Game 7. But let’s all just take a step back and be careful with who’s delivering that message. Having this being pushed by the corporate elites of the 76ers organization and from a Barstool “Philly” account isn’t something I can get behind.
Kyle Pagan from Everything’s Phine was on this from the jump. Although we got into a conversation earlier and I initially disagreed with the way he was wording his call to action, it turns out that he was onto something. Cheers to you Kyle, thanks for leading the charge on this fake news, misinformation act from our corporate overlords.
At the end of the day, 3.5 hours before game time. One thing is for certain: Yes. It is Sixers in 7. We don’t have a choice. A loss tonight could mean the end of an era for Philadelphia basketball. I’m sure the Sixers realize this as well. The message remains the same. As for those who are pushing it, well, keep an eye out for plants. They’re all around us.
*** UPDATE ***
For the morons on Reddit and others who DM’d me about this article. It’s obviously a fucking joke. Go cry to someone else. The only factual part is about the t-shirts. That actually happened. So all you Stoolies can calm down. I’ve been a Barstool guy since half of you were in elementary school. Go cry to someone else. I run DSGN Tree and our shirts are significantly better. Not my problem.
Sixers in 7, softies.
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