Misinformation: Bryson Stott does NOT put ranch dressing on his ice cream
Thank god. It looks like we avoided another disaster with news coming out today that Bryson Stott does NOT put Ranch on his ice cream.
Everyone knows we live in the age of misinformation. That has been elevated to new heights with everything that’s happening between Russia and Ukraine.
One of the Phillies few glimmers of hope in the minor leagues is none other than shortstop Bryson Stott. He was recently ranked #34 in Fangraphs Top 100 Prospect List and will almost certainly be fighting for the starting shortstop role if we ever get a Major League Baseball season this year.
News broke out that Bryson Stott was putting ranch dressing on his ice cream and rightfully so, he was getting slammed across social media.
I couldn’t have been more disgusted. Only thing worse than ranch stans are mayo stans. I can’t stand these condiment loving losers and the thought of Bryson Stott, the future of the Phillies degrading vanilla ice cream in such a way was absolutely appalling.
Luckily, that does not seem to be the case.
Stott was on the Officially Unofficial podcast and explained the situation.
Stott, who plays Fortnite with Cincinnati Reds pitcher Amir Garrett, was apparently getting shit on for not dropping with the squad. He whipped out an excuse saying that was getting ice cream and told Garrett that he was putting ranch on it.
Jokes on Garrett. Stott, a true king, made two bowls of ice cream and put ranch on one of them for the picture while eating a regular bowl himself.
I know what you’re thinking…
Why in the world is Stott eating ice cream out of a paper bowl?
That is just terrible to see as well, but let’s just tackle the issue at hand with the fake ranch ice cream.
Catastrophe has been avoided. Bryson Stott is still the chosen one. And for the love of God, please end this lockout so we can play some baseball this season.