MLB Winter Meetings: Phillies content without making a splash, Rob Thomson didn’t watch the World Series, and MLB Rule 5 Draft update
MLB Winter Meetings are underway in Nashville, Tennessee and I have a few updates for…
The Arizona Diamondbacks and their fans are getting a little too comfortable after winning Games 3 and 4 at home. This includes their inbred mascot, Baxter, who has taken it a step too far, insulting the Phillie Phanatic in an embarrassing fashion.
As disgusting as this act is, I can’t say I’m surprised. This is classic expansion team trash behavior, nothing more. Even so, they must be crushed for this insolence.
If you thought Blooper was a stupid knockoff of the Phanatic, you’d be right. But this unnatural monstrosity in Arizona is far worse.
Not only are those beady eyes too close together but he’s also got a jaw that would make the Hapsburgs stop and go, “Jesus Christ, his jaw is fucked.”
Plus, being named the Diamondbacks and having a Bobcat as your mascot makes no sense. Bobcats eat rattlesnakes all the time.
Meanwhile, the Phillie Phanatic has a rich history tracing back multiple decades and spanning multiple continents. He deserves reverence, and this Spirit Halloween motherfucker crossed a line.
I have one promise for you, Baxter. There will be blood.
Regardless of how this series ends, I will turn that son of a bitch into a rug for my living room. If I’m feeling really frisky – which I often do – I might take his carcass to a haberdasher and commission a Hercules cloak to wear for formal events.