Bummer: 110 pounds of cocaine valued at $1.5 million washed ashore in Alabama and was foolishly turned over to authorities

According to reports, swimmers foolishly turned over nearly 110 pounds of cocaine that washed ashore on a beach in Baldwin County, Alabama over the weekend.

110 Pounds of Cocaine Found on a Beach in Alabama:

Just west of the Bon Secour Wildlife Refuge on the Fort Morgan peninsula, on Thursday, swimmers see something bobbing in the water and drag it onshore. Once they realized what they had found, they called the police.

“50 packages, two point two pounds per package, 110 pounds with a value of about 1.5 million,” said Baldwin County Sheriff’s Office Capt. Danny Steelman.

Tests confirmed it was cocaine.

“It was wrapped in black plastic, and they did tear into the black plastic, but they didn’t open any of the individual bundles,” added Steelman. [CBS]

You have to be kidding me…

I feel like I’ve written this story a million times already and we’re always stuck with the same, boring result where the lucky ducks who discovered the package immediately call the authorities to take it away.

Let’s just hope that the 110 pounds was actually double that, if you know what I mean.

There’s nothing that grinds my gears more than stories like these. I guess we can all be happy that the Cocaine Sharks didn’t find this glorious run cocaine first?

A few years ago, right around the same time actually, scientists from the University of Florida released a report saying that sharks off the coast of Florida were FEASTING on pounds of cocaine that were dumped into the ocean by failed drug smugglers trying to reach the United States coastline. 

In my post about it, I was hoping that the Cocaine Sharks was just another scam by a group of scientists who want to feed sharks cocaine (aka get a bunch of free coke and give “some” to the sharks) but regardless, I can’t knock the hustle.

That study was based on UF looking into “tales from fisherman about drug-addicted sharks off the Florida Keys” so make of it as you will. 

Crazy for sure, but honestly, pretty genius. If I had the opportunity to test the side effects of mushrooms on the raccoon that lives in the dumpster behind my local Wendy’s, consider me a scientist. 

Then last year, boaters in Florida discovered 65 pounds of Eagle Cocaine (Go Birds) and foolishly turned that over to authorities. Same song, different dance.

Recreational boaters find 65 pounds of Eagle Cocaine off the coast of Florida, foolishly hand it over to authorities >>

Would you turn over all 65 pounds of Eagle-Cocaine?

Recreational boater in the Florida Keys discovers 65 lbs. of cocaine floating at sea. The cocaine has an estimated street value of over $1 million & will be seized by the U.S. #BorderPatrol. We appreciate the support from Good Samaritan’s in our community.#floridakeys #drugs pic.twitter.com/g2hQYhLATG

— Jeffrey Dinise (@USBPChiefMIP) June 18, 2024

This is now the third straight year that something happened like this during Discovery’s Shark Week

How actual scientific institutions get that type of study approved is insane but if you peel back the curtain and realize that it’s actually happening under the guerrilla marketing guise of Discovery’s “Shark Week” then it all started to make perfect sense. 

It doesn’t take a genius to realize that this probably what we’re dealing with yet again with the mysterious Alabama Beach Cocaine.

I mean look at the success of Cocaine Bear. The movie was a viral sensation.

These scientists just want to rail lines and laugh at everyone while they watch episodes of Shark Week. 

Please don’t let me confuse you. That sounds like what I did every year at college while watching Shark Week so I’m not criticizing whatsoever. The only difference is that I was buying the cocaine instead of getting it for free to use for “science” while the Discovery Channel lined my pockets. 

Honestly, a lot of people think about the “American Dream” and immediately turn to going to school, getting married, starting a family, and buying their dream home with a white picket fence where they’ll live happily ever after. 

Obviously that dream is dead but you get the point.

Personally, my dream is to find an unmarked bag of millions of dollars in cash or even better, a massive sack of cocaine valued at $1.5 million washing ashore while I’m swimming my little heart out in the Alabama sun.

$1.5 million of cocaine washes up on Baldwin County beach | WKRG pic.twitter.com/vUqQSht4yR

— GrantB911 (@GrantB911) June 29, 2025

Point being – shame on these “swimmers” who went running to authorities after finding the stash. That’s the most anti-American thing you could do outside of voting Democrat.

KIDDING! (Not Really) 

How anyone could find 110 pounds of cocaine just a week before July 4th – America’s Birthday – and decide to just hand it over is absolutely insane. 

The right move here would have been the following:

• Check for tracking devices.
• Move to a new city.
• Do a bunch of cocaine, in moderation.
• Find a good plug
• Tell him you know someone with a great connect
• Offload some cocaine and make money
• Plug likes cocaine
• Offer wholesale
• Sell a ton more cocaine

And then you probably go back to the beach and look for more because guess what? According to authorities, it happens pretty often. Four years ago, 77 pounds was found on the same beach and those morons turned that shit over too. Once one bundle washes ashore, there’s a good chance that more are on the way!

Steelman said that could happen again in this situation. “It is not uncommon for us to get a bundle and a few days later get more bundles. Sometimes it is the kilo size, and sometimes larger bundles.”

Anyways, the ocean is a wild. You are already dealing with a bunch of crazy sea creatures and just the thought of sharks now getting zooted off pounds of cocaine certainly doesn’t help ease any anxiety when hitting the beach this summer. 

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