Weekend Rips: First Eagles-free weekend, Sixers seek revenge vs. Cavs, Flyers continue in mediocrity

Oops, I did it again. Weekend Rips is back after a few weeks’ hiatus for the holidays, as well as a number of extremely positive personal events that took my eye off the ball heading into the New Year. Was a lot of the reason that I drank for 10 days straight? Maybe, but that’s none of your business. That’s between me and God.

The Eagles’ season is officially over, the Sixers have new life with Joel Embiid producing at an unreal rate, and the Flyers are, well, playing something resembling hockey. Plus, the Phillies fell flat on their face in free agency. Things are mostly bad, but there’s some light at the end of the tunnel. That could just be the Lord calling me to the Pearly Gates before my time, but it could also just be competent basketball. It’s anyone’s guess.

Now that the dust has settled, I’m back. So strap in, folks, it’s time to let it rip.

The Eagles’ season is dead. And Kevin Patullo killed it.

Well, Birds fans, it’s finally over. This season was one of turmoil. This team won the NFC East despite its myriad issues. Be it the offensive playcalling, lack of effort and execution, or the general malaise within the organization, the end was a microcosm of a season chock full of bullshit.

#EaglesEverywhere, you were with us every step of the way. Thank you 💚 pic.twitter.com/W9fAchOAVf

— Philadelphia Eagles (@Eagles) January 15, 2026

The season ended unceremoniously in a loss to the 49ers that the oddsmakers thought would not happen, but any fan with a functioning brain saw coming a mile away. The offensive woes were simply too much to bear, and Kyle Shanahan had just enough tricks up his sleeve to score more than the 14 points the Eagles could realistically give up and still win.

Does it help that, of the three games I’ve watched with my girlfriend (Chargers, Commanders, 49ers), the Eagles won exactly zero? No. Will I mention this to her directly? Absolutely not. But if she happens to read this, I regret absolutely nothing.

If anything, we did this team and fanbase a favor. There was simply no way the Birds were winning the Super Bowl. We simply helped speed up the process by locking in the 3-seed and ensuring a swift exit at the hands of the zombie Niners. So, MK, they should really be thanking us.

Now, we can focus on the offseason moves that will get us back to the mountaintop. Kevin Patullo is out of the OC spot, and I’d love for Mike McDaniel’s weird ass to come make this offense great again.

So, take the weekend and enjoy watching what real offense looks like in the Divisional Round. Or detox from football and do whatever the hell you please. Sundays are yours again, my friends. Use them wisely.

Sixers seek revenge vs. Cavs – Friday @ 7 pm

The Sixers were firing on all cylinders until the Cavaliers boat raced them this week. Joel Embiid is moving in a way that makes me feel things I shouldn’t put into print. Combine that with Tyrese Maxey and VJ Edgecombe remaining the hottest backcourt in the NBA, and there’s a reason the team is in the fifth seed in the East.

Tonight’s rematch in Philly features key absences for Cleveland (Darius Garland, Sam Merrill, Max Strus) while Joel Embiid and Paul George are listed as probable. Expect the 76ers to come out with revenge-mode energy at home and a chance to flip the script, especially with Tyrese Maxey poised for a bounce-back scoring night.

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Flyers look to stop their skid against the Rangers (and probably won’t) – Saturday @ 1 pm

The Flyers suck now. Michkov is buried. Coots is a joke. Tocchet is getting sucked off by the media while ruining any chance of development for our young talent. Fuck this team.

The team is 3-6-1 in their last 10 games and haven’t won since they smacked the Ducks around. I don’t foresee them fixing this with the anti-Christ running the show, but who knows.

In the meantime, listen to my wartime consigliere, Chris Stumpo, and his noble steed Derek break it all down on the best Flyers podcast in this universe or any other.

The Phillies have lost out on Bo Bichette, and Sleepy Dave should be in prison:

I’m speechless. Fortunately, Drew Smith is rarely at a loss for words.

Dave Dombrowski Disaster: Bo Bichette is somehow heading to the New York Mets on a 3-year $126 million contract

Trending stories at TLL:

• Aaron Rodgers’ mystery wife rumored to be an AI chatbot named Brittani
• Ranger Suárez is heading to the Boston Red Sox on a 5-year, $130 million contract
• Eliot Shorr-Parks keeps posting garbage takes and getting buried in the replies

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