Does the Pennsylvania alcohol shortage prove that Eagles fans do drink the most beer in America?
The Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board, also known as the the Nerds in PA, announced that liquor stores and bars throughout the commonwealth will be limited to purchasing only two bottles of certain alcohol per customer for the foreseeable future. The PLCB said “sustained supply chain disruptions and product shortages” prompted the restrictions on certain types of alcohol, according to the Associated Press.
Apparently this is happening because of COVID-19 and is now causing America and the once great state of Pennsylvania to slip further and further down the well of what resembles socialism. However, is it possible there is another reason behind the shortage?
To bring up an old post made by fellow journalist at TLL, Ryan Conway, the NFL released a list of fan bases and their alcohol consumption during the offseason. It just so happens now, that the Eagles will face the 49ers in their home opener in South Philadelphia on Sunday.
Jason Kelce and Jordan Mailata are certainly doing their part in destroying beers. I know for a fact that alcohol consumption starting at 6am Sunday morning in Philadelphia will be through the roof. Is it possible the shortage is because of Eagles fans? Some may think it’s a stretch, but it wouldn’t be the first time a list from the NFL was completely wrong about Eagles fans and their ability to delete beers on Sundays during football season.
Here’s a list of the affected products from Crossing Broad:
Obviously, no one is drinking any of this garbage anyways. Dom Perignon, Patron, and Don Julio are tough to lose but everything else can go. No, I’m not drinking Hennessy at Eagles tailgates. I mean I definitely would, but no one has ever offered and I usually stick to beer so I can last a marathon of drinking for 15 hours straight on Sundays for the birds.
Also, Penn State University is playing Auburn this weekend in Happy Valley. If you’re a Nittany Lions fan, make sure you’re tuning into White Out Weekly. PSU will be packed with over 100,000 fans this weekend and I wouldn’t be surprised if those sick and demented Penn State students are chugging Hennessy in Central PA before a huge college football game, nor should you.
In all seriousness, people need to get back to work. There are shortages in every industry across the board. Alcohol companies have reported shortages in aluminum cans, glass bottles, and just bodies to get the job done. Working in the custom apparel industry, there are stock shortages nationwide on t-shirts. Cat food, half and half, and other products people use on a daily basis are also facing shortages.
Get it together America, we have lives to live. As for the current shortages of alcohol as long as that list doesn’t start hitting home and affecting your typical beer companies, I think we’ll be okay.
Cheers. Fly Eagles Fly.