Weekend Rips: Phillies face an old foe, Eagles finalize elite roster
The weekend is upon us. It’s not just any weekend, however. Labor Day is on Monday, meaning residents across the Delaware Valley have three consecutive days off work.
To some, it’s a relaxing time to unwind. But, for degenerates like us here at The Liberty Line, it’s a rare opportunity to descend into depths of debauchery not seen since the Age of Sodom and Gomorrah.
The Phillies will face Gabe Kapler after dark in their hunt for Red October, the Eagles will enjoy the calm before the storm of the NFL regular season, and College Football Week 1 will empty the coffers of sports bettors across this great nation.
With so much going on, Weekend Rips is here to give you the past week’s highlights and what to look forward to. Think of it as your booze-soaked brain’s North Star leading you to sports salvation. It’s time to let it rip.
Phillies Weekend Update
The Phils had a tough series in Arizona but managed to cap it off with an 18-2 win over the Snakes.
Philly still managed to disrespect Mikal Bridges years later. The NBA player and former Sixer (for about 5 minutes) threw out the first pitch for Mikal Bridges appreciation night, only to have the Phillies lose 12-3. I wouldn’t blame him if he never came home again at this point.
Bailey Falter suffered a groin injury late in his brilliant start in which he led the Fightins to their only win in the desert. Even so, he has a positive outlook on the situation.
Falter’s injury forced the team to expand the roster, calling up reliever Vinny “Boombatz” Nittoli and catcher Donny “Gabagool” Sands. With at least one fellow paisan joining the 28-man, the Donny Gabagool fan club was instantly formed.
The Phillie Phanatic also made headlines this week. Channeling “Dark Brandon” energy, the Phanatic gave a rousing, Mussolini-style speech in Center City Philadelphia. Those fortunate enough to see The Supreme One in person heard him paint the Braves and Mets as enemies of the people and direct threats to Red October.
Now, heading into the weekend, Phillies fans can look forward to facing an old foe: Gabe Kapler. The Hebrew Hammer has quite the reputation in Philadelphia, and the hatred towards him only increased when he won Manager of the Year last season.
The part-time workout blogger’s squad has struggled this season, which bodes well as the team continues its hunt for Red October.
You can watch tonight’s game on AppleTV+ at 10:15 pm. Then Saturday and Sunday’s games are at 4:05 pm on NBCS Philly. Luke Arcaini’s series preview is available here.
Hopefully, Ruben Amaro, Jr. doesn’t make the trip…
PLUS: check out our Phillies v. Giants betting guide for all the plays you need to know about and and eye-popping parlay.
Grab Your Phillie Phanatic, Red October Gear in the Shop
Eagles set 53-man Roster
The Eagles were active all off-season long, which remained true until this week’s roster deadline (and even a bit after).
If you missed all of the moves Howie Roseman made this off-season, I implore you to check out our new-ish Eagles writer’s recap. Brian Cass thinks Howie’s off-season was nothing short of perfect, and it’s hard to disagree.
The Birds practiced addition by subtraction by sending Jalen Reagor to the Vikings for some picks. Personally, I would have taken a bag of peanuts and a pat on the ass, but no complaints here.
Roseman also traded for talented Saints defensive back, Chauncey Gardner-Johnson. He’ll fill into a safety spot alongside Avonte Maddox. He’s also one of the fieriest players in the league, which bodes well for him here in Philadelphia.
You can also check out our best futures bets for all things Eagles here. With Week 1 around the corner, you’d be wise to get them in now before the Eagles take the league by storm.
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What’s happening in Philly
Filipino fast food chain Jollibee has opened in Philadelphia, and people are excited. I’m not one of those people, but it’s nice to see so many smiling faces. No better way to kick off the weekend than some delicious chicken.
That being said, I did some research, and the only smiling face I never want to see again is that of Jollibee’s mascot.
Also, Joe Biden spoke in Philadelphia last night (though most of the city was attending the Phanatic’s rally), and of course that brought us the attention of *sigh* national journalists.
When the national media gets involved, you usually either get a total lack of basic Philadelphia knowledge or extreme pandering. This “comedy contributor” managed both in one fell swoop.
Biggest stories of the week
A lot goes on outside the world of Philly sports. Here were our readers’ favorites:
- Disgusting Behavior: Latest edition of fans having sex in the stands brings us to a Toronto Blue Jays game
- Leonardo DiCaprio continues streak of breaking up with his girlfriends before they turn 25 years old
- The internet was fooled into thinking that the NFL was going to use a different ball for Thursday Night Football on Amazon Prime
- Thoughts and prayers to Mark, who was friend-zoned into the shadow realm during last nights Milwaukee Brewers game
- YouTuber SteveWillDoIt won’t watch the NBA anymore because of James Harden
Inside The Liberty Line
Honestly? I have no idea what’s going on at this website half the time. The jokes I made about being chained to a t-shirt printing machine all those months ago very nearly became reality. My podcast is dead in the water. My apartment is out of trash bags. Sometimes I think Drew and Vic only keep me around because they pity me.
Regardless, what I do know is that we here at The Liberty Line have a lot planned for this upcoming football season. So keep an eye on the website for our next big announcement. Hell, you might find out about it before I do.